Sign in Jinja, Uganda. Not one of the top tips on offer here.
NGO worker and writer Louise Hogan has interned in Uganda and holidayed in Rwanda in the last 12 months and works in London the rest of the time on mass atrocity prevention and response issues particularly around women in conflict.
Here she shares her top 10 tips for surviving a spell in a war zone, including the importance of Vogue, leggings and old fashioned common sense plus advice on how to know when it’s time for flaming sambucas in a random African country…
1. Bring Your Ipod or Industrial Strength Ear Plugs
Listening to music doesn’t just pass the time when you’re travelling through war zones, but (much more importantly), it also drowns out the horrible scuttling of any creatures at night – and trust me; there will be scuttling creatures!
If you want a decent night’s sleep, some sort of listening device is essential. In the extremely unlikely event that there are in fact no scuttling creatures there will inevitably be roosters making themselves heard very early in the morning. Even in the middle of bustling cities. Actually, especially in the middle of bustling cities. And usually the call of a muezzin- not just in the Middle East but across large swatches of Africa and Asia too. If you want to sleep at all, this is an essential.
2. Embrace The Delhi Belly Diet
Sampling Sudanese food
Accept the fact that you will get sick, often. It happens, no matter how many probiotic tablets you take. Years of first world standard food has left your immune system pathetically weak and you will get sick. Usually not very severely, often at least once a week. View it as the perfect diet- one detox day a week with no effort on your part? Girls in London would kill for that!
3. Swat Up On Semi-Survival Facts
You probably won’t need these for actual emergencies but they are good for impressing members of the opposite sex you meet in hostels and expat bars. Stuff like the NATO alphabet. The ability to swear in five languages- one of which should be slightly obscure (you won’t impress anyone swearing in Spanish!). Or the knowledge that when you lose control of a car, you should turn into the skid. Pretend you learned that one when driving a 4×4 across Zimbabwe. Casually drop these titbits into conversation and watch the boys be impressed (and become convinced you’re actually an Israeli spy, as happened to me in Kampala. Even though I’m Irish).
4. Practice Extreme Packing
Capsule packing, West Africa style
You will need practical things such as a wind up torch, a door jam, a first aid kit and a mini-pharmacy. You will also need frivolous things such as make- up and bikinis. Leggings are impossible to find in parts of Central Asia and East Africa. Throw a Vogue in your backpack. Glossy magazines are usually a big hit with the local women and girls. Set aside your reservations about exporting unrealistic societal expectations for how women should look; the over-the-top couture ads in Vogue and Harpers will cause much amusement and sharing out the magazines will be an easy ice-breaker in many parts of the world.
5. Be Afraid
Not being scared doesn’t make you brave; it usually means you’re ignorant of the real risks or just a bit of an idiot. I once backed out of going along to watch a political opposition rally in Kampala. Yes, I was scared. But I was scared because I had read up on the violent riots that had occurred after every other rally previously and, predictably, occurred after this particular one, with machete and stick wielding mobs roaming the streets. Being scared often keeps you safe.
6. Don’t Be Afraid
Lake Kivu, Rwanda
You should also use common sense. I’ll soon travel to Gisenyi, Rwanda. On the shores of Lake Kivu which emits a deadly methane gas, Gisenyi lies in the path of an active volcano, in an area where earthquakes are not unheard of. It is also war zone adjacent, being a mere 1.65 miles across the border from Goma in the DRC, where the UN and national troops are currently preparing for a rebel siege. But it’s safe. The Foreign Office, my guidebook, daily news reports and seasoned visitors all say it’s safe. Trust your own judgement and that of those who know what they’re talking about.
7. Don’t drink
A night out in Kigali – ignoring the first rule of drinking - which is not to do it
This depends on where you are. If you are in an African city you don’t know well, where the power goes out almost every night and most of the roads are unpaved, don’t drink. In that situation, you do not need your inhibitions lowered and your judgement impaired. Know when and where it’s safe and/or sensible to have a drink. This may prove difficult as expats/aid workers/dodgy security folk love to drink. Remember though, they are inevitably a lot more experienced than you; wait till you have your bearings before you join the Aussie UN workers for tequila.
8. Ignore Tip 7.
Face up to the fact that you may end up going out with some aid workers, doing some flaming sambucas then taking photos with the military police as illustrated above. Also face up to the consequences the morning after. I have never experienced any hangover as bad as a hangover under a beating Central African sun. Rehydration sachets will save your life. Seriously. Bring as many as you can.
9. Keep your feminine wiles under wraps. Sometimes.
Posing with the troops in Kigali
This is something I say cautiously; of course no matter how a girl behaves, she never invites trouble. But you need to protect yourself as well as you can. In the Middle East, dress modestly. Recognise that in some parts of Africa, the only white girls they’ve seen before are in music videos and porn films. They may not differentiate when they see you. Blondes will experience most hassle in this regard.
However, you can always use your feminity to your advantage. A little flirting in some instances can get you a seat on a cargo plane to some inaccessible part of the continent of your choice, for instance (always flirt with any South African man you meet in the developing world, where they come in ridiculously handy. And they make great bush pilots).
10. Bring Your Festival Kit
There won’t always be hot showers or toilet paper where you’re going. Baby wipes are the answer. Think of it as an extended Glastonbury.
This piece first appeared as a guest post on the excellant travel website www.savoirthere.com. Check it out!
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